The definition of our interracial relationship

Defining our interracial relationship

What do you think when you hear the word ‘interracial relationship’? Some people may think that it’s a kink: being in a relationship with someone outside of your race is new and foreign and adventurous. Others would say, oh I don’t see race, people are people. But that’s not entirely true. Where you grew up and how you were brought up are a huge part of who you are. When two people who came from different backgrounds meet, there ought to be at least some adaptation and compromises to be made.

The two of us have been in relationships before, both with people of the same and different races. Most of them didn’t work not because of the race, but because of other differences (for instance in life values or principles). Things that are experienced by other couples too.

By definition, of course, an interracial relationship means a relationship involving partners who belong to different races. From our own experience, an interracial relationship equals to obstacles and challenges because of the constant adjustment and practice 😀

To be fair, this relationship is both challenging and rewarding at the same time.

Benefits of interracial relationships

We learn something new every day

English is our second language; our mother tongue couldn’t be more different from one another. Even though we communicate with each other in English, we both make an effort to learn each other’s language. And that’s just one aspect. Until today, we’re still learning about each other’s food, habits, culture, and so much more.

We broaden our horizons

We both bring different perspectives on things. When we approach an issue, we try to understand each other’s opinion and not to judge. We try our best to be good listeners and not jump to conclusions.

We develop confidence in our relationship

Being a couple that is outside of the cultural expectations, or being different than other couples from where we live, helps us become more patient and tolerant with other people. Friends, family, even strangers threw us advice, opinions, or snide remarks that we didn’t need. It can be hard to make them change their mind, so we decided that we should just filter them out. We trust our judgment more than that of other people who don’t know what’s going on in our life.

Challenges of interracial relationships

Resistance from family or friends 

Jess comes from a conservative family; they expect her to marry someone of the same culture. Paul’s family, on the other hand, is more progressive. They don’t really care about that sort of thing. Right now, we are still trying to bridge the gap, to hopefully get everyone on the same page.

People look down on us because of cultural stereotypes

We live in a fairly conservative country; there’s always the stereotype that Asian girls who date or marry white foreigners must be gold diggers. And vice versa, white men who date Asian girls are looking for a servant, or someone to fulfill their kinks. A lot of the time, when we go out together, people will stare at us. They don’t even try to hide it; they just stare.

Communications barrier

Because we communicate in our second language, sometimes it can be hard to get the message across, especially when we’re fighting. We are trying our best to clarify things that we don’t understand. We also try not to offend each other when we can’t find the words to describe what we have in mind. It takes patience, but it’s definitely worth it.

Can interracial relationships work?

Yes, but only if both parties are committed to always learn from each other and compromise. It’s not an easy path. If you want to make it work, there is no shortcut to a happy and meaningful relationship.

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